My Friend Gina
By Hannah

There was once an amazing Lady,
who was cooler than slim shady,
She wasn’t called Tina, Sheena, Christina,
No, she was called Gina!
She moved up from London
(As far as she could from Camden)
To the fair city of Newcastle,
Away from busy and hassle.
She dressed in pretty pattern,
which were superior to Saturn,
and wore a stunning smile,
which could be seen from fair mile.

One day Gina decided
to go shopping down the Toon
she had quite an obscure shopping list,
including items like a bassoon.

she got off her bus
at Old Eldon Square
Checking out all the Geordie folk
Thinking ‘ Yeah I got the best hair’
When she noticed a little stall
that seemed invisible to most
With this little old owner promoting
“Cheapest scarves I boast!”

Gina’s jaw dropped as she saw
He had every scarf imaginable.
She ran to him with excitement,
not anticipating any trouble.

When all of a sudden,
the stall turned to ice,
the air went bitterly cold,
like an Antarctic slice,
and the little old owner,
who looked harmless and frail,
turned into an Frosty beast,
with icicles on his tail.

“I am Chilly Willy!”
He claimed with aggression
“I hear you work for Samsung,
and for you I have a confession,
Your fridge freezer broke down on me,
and melted all my ice pops,
You can sort this out now lassy,
or Im gonna  tear down these shops!”

She would have offered a voucher
a Tesco one for £50
but she wasn’t gonna take that rudeness
his language so profound

Before he could start,
his reign of destruction,
Gina pressed her orange flower broach,
which caused a huge reduction,
of evilness and coldness,
as the flower emitted sunshine,
which melted the icy bastard,
freeing his curse from the Tyne.

The Geordies laughed and cheered
As the temperatures raised
and thanked the beautiful Gina
for they were left feeling amazed
at the powers she held
to bring happiness to every room
She raised them all up
from the icy doom and gloom.

The End

Poet at 8

Coke Whore Elephants&Slutty Trumpets.

Coke Whore Elephants&Slutty Trumpets.

There was this mad elephant called Gregg 
and he looooved to snort cocaine. 
He loved to sniff and whiff,
those powders to his brain.
He would laugh at the poor,
but he would fear the rich,
as they had giant tazors,
that made his trunk twitch.


One day Gregg decided,
that coke was not the way,
so he took up horticulture,
but much to his dismay,
he fell in love with a trumpet..
Stanley.. the locals called him.
Gregg then questioned his sexuality,
whether his actions would be grim.
But to his surprise it amazed him
and became addictive like the coke,
but Stanley charged a high price,
so soon Gregg was broke.


"why god why?!" He shouted at the sky.
"Why did you make me gay?!
Why did you turn my tastes to brass?!
And why do I now appreciate ballet!?"


"Because you are a bumder!!"
God shouted down with aggression.
"You were meant to bare me a son,
but from that path you took digression
into a land of powdered goods,
that hit you like a brick.
Now be gone with you young elephant,
and be hasty, be quick!
Or i shall smite you in your path
And dam you to hell and back!

Because you young trunkers know nothing,
of the delightfully warm snack,
of chicken burgers with cheese,
of putting your heart in danger.
Now grow a pair of testee,
and fuck off back to your manger!"


So with that Gregg left Serbia
and found his life in fiction,
But always reminisced,
of his involvements in trumpet addiction.