The tale of Andy and the Honeybadger

This is one I did for a guy on my course as he was super sad and he needed to smile.


There was once a Geordie Zebra named Andy
Who always played the bass
He was stripy from hoof to neck
But was a ginger in the face
He was kanni for a zebra
and seemed to enjoy a good documentary
he always managed to make all smile
as he was truly the bishop of banterbury

He attended this course
to better his chances for a job
and bumped into Hana, the BlackBear
who came across as a hyperactive knob

the two became chums within moments
due to the likeness in creative imagination
and decided to go on a magical adventure
but didn't comprehend any confrontation

They were chilling out in the toon
smoking the fattest of boom battest
chatting shit about life's wonders
the corners of their minds confessed
when this bastard called Lloyd rounded the corner
with a face like a bull dog licking piss off a nettle
He was one of those famous honey badgers
who could drink water straight from a freshly boiled kettle

“Oy Bruv” He shouted at Andy
“do us 26p
I need to go to the dentist
to remove this tooth debris
but my nana is sick an dat
coz she just crashed her ford capri
now do us a go on ya lasses box
or I’ll go on a killing spree”

“This isn’t GTA5
and that isn’t my lass
shes good banter n all
but shes a bit of a brass.
no, I wont do you 26p
you irritating clump of mass
get the fuck out of ones grill
before I severely kick your ass”

the two began to brawl
to confirm who was supreme
Gazza arrived with chicken breasts
to gently calm the scene

but Gazza was too late
and end was put to the vendetta
of Lloyds hatred of the world
by R Kellys mahoosive beretta

Andy and Hana survived
to tell the tale to all
but due to post traumatic stress
they took sanctuary in Nepal.

The End.